Wednesday, February 6, 2013

notes of a deluded narcissist




My brother Joel grew up with six sisters.  He survived thanks to his sarcastic sense of humor.  Whenever one of us girls started thinking a little too much of ourselves, he had a quick comeback: “Oh, go punch your hero card.”

Fast-forward 20 years or so to January 2013.  The data from the latest American Freshmen Survey, which has surveyed millions of college freshmen in the U.S. since the 1960s, were released. The results?
1)    College students are more likely than ever to consider themselves gifted and likely to succeed.
2)    Students’ test scores and the time they spend studying are at an all-time low.

            A similar study of young people showed that their tendency toward narcissism has soared 30 percent in the last thirty-odd years.  Others have interviewed teens regarding the future.  Consistently, over half of the young people polled wanted to be famous more than anything else. 

Are we surprised?  Facebook turns teens into faux celebrities with hundreds of “friends.”  Twitter users can pretend they are worth following, “as though they have real-life fans, when all that is really happening is the mutual fanning of false love and false fame.[1]  Computer games allow children and teens to pretend they are Olympians, sharpshooters, and everything in between.   Reality TV shows glorify self-absorbed individuals with no real claim to fame.  In short?  “We are raising a generation of deluded narcissists.”[1]

But wait.  Before we all get busy bemoaning the state of teens today.  Before you snatch one of their Smartphones while attempting an in-the-flesh conversation.   I’m pretty sure this narcissistic trend is affecting all of us, not just our youth.  Do you promote your own idealized persona on Facebook?  Spend more time “pinning” than doing?  Is “Call of Duty” more alluring than your calling and your duty…to your work, your spouse, or your kids?  

 Now, those of you know me personally might think I’m waging an attack on electronic gadgets or social networking.  After all, I’m not on Facebook.  Not on Pinterest.  I’ve never “tweeted” anything.  As far as video games go…well, we don’t even own a TV.  We got our first cell phone this past summer, and I’m still not sure which button turns the dumb thing on
That being said, I’m not excluding myself from the mad pack of deluded narcissists. This blog is intended to be a means of keeping loved ones up-to-date on our family, but it can abruptly morph into my own little hero card. Here’s my (edited, idealized) life.  Because I think my life is worth “liking.”  “Worth “linking.”  “You’re such a good writer, Sarah!”  (Punch!)  “Beautiful photo, Sarah!”  (Punch!)

  Now, a narcissist doesn’t need the Internet or electronics, but these things enable us to create a “virtual reality” over which we have complete control…until that idealized existence ends up owning us.  Instead of going to God as we encounter daily trials and joys, we post them Facebook or blog about them.  And things that God intended to be private, maybe even sacred?  Too often they’re aired openly, for any “friend” to see.  Before you know it, you’ve made yourself the star of your very own virtual reality show.  No wonder our children are becoming more and more self-absorbed - they're learning from our example.

I know that the technology available to us can be used to encourage one another, to spur one another on to love and good deeds (Hebrews 10:24).  I’m thankful for that.  More often, though, when I’ve wasted precious time on-line, I can’t help but think of the idle young women Paul mentions in I Timothy 5 – the ones who wander from house to house, tattlers and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.   Today’s technology facilitates those sins without even exiting one’s own front door.

The Bible uses a different word to denote our undue fascination with ourselves.  Idolatry - the pursuit of anything other than the glory of God as one’s purpose for being.  We are as much idolaters as is the man in Isaiah 44 who prostrates himself before a piece of wood.  We make gods out of men – whether ourselves or another – and the works of men’s hands – whether our own or another’s.

But there’s hope for us.  While we might spend hours crafting our user profile, Jesus Christ made Himself of no reputation.  He was no idolater.  He died that you and I might be set free from our absorption with ourselves to will and to do of His good pleasure.

Praise Him!

Do so by using the time and the technology at your disposal to seek His glory and not your own.


[1] Dr. Keith Ablow, Fox News Opinion column, January 8, 2013.

1 comment:

  1. I've also heard the brother say "Do you want a cookie?" in a situation like that. :-)

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